It could be out of either envy or obsession caused by self-suppression. Some sort of a covetous behavior perhaps. The consequences of this conservative view of sex are dire—for both men and women. Growing up, men believe that women are sacred prizes to firstly win, marry, bed, and then—as sexual freedom is not encouraged and many men and women from more conservative families will sleep with no one before they get married—cheat on. When my partner and I first arrived in Turkey, we stayed with a pair of uni students.
These two young guys would have big groups of their male buddies over most nights but I never saw a single woman.
When I would be cooking, he would come and stand next to me and just stare. It was very uncomfortable but also enlightening.osipro.henkel.buildingonline.com/new-emperors-the-power-and.php
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Needless to say, we moved out soon after. The problem is that women and men are not encouraged—on a large scale—to live together as friends in a share house or even as partners before marriage. Universities too have mostly same-sex housing for students, and women can only sit next to another man on intercity buses or trains if he is her partner. Men see women as possessions and as many women grow up being treated like princesses, they develop unrealistic expectations of men.
Because they have freedom to select, to be selected by one of them makes the guy more of a hero, a winner, a champion.
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Turkish men just assumed she would be up for anything because she is half-English and would get furious with her if she would turn them down. Or even more frighteningly, a guy once completely stripped off and got into a bed with a foreign girl who was sleeping and definitely did not invite him to do so. She woke up when he started touching her, freaked out, and told him to get out, and his reaction was one of complete shock and disbelief, followed by downright refusal. Hi, i see that your page is very slow, it took around 9 seconds to load this post.
Do you know that website speed is major ranking factor for google now? If you speed up your page loading time you can rank higher and get more targeted traffic. There is simple method for faster loading, search for: Hey love and sex are difficult topics in any country. Turkey is no different in this respect.
I hope all Turks find true love. If you want to know how to make extra money, search for: I fall in LOVE with a turkish guy. I may be not know him very well, but is the most exciting experience on my life…. As a 20 years olded Turkish male person, I can state that the major problem of Turkey society is hypocrisy. It is extremely common not just in sexual relationships but also in frienships, even if they are made of same gender. For instance, almost all people dress like Westerns but behaves like Easterns.
It is too hard to live in such a two-face society.
My name karam istanbul turkey 39 years cm 76 kg I hope meet some women we can spend time together short or long time i am ready My whatsapp. Your email address will not be published. You may also like. June 12, at 3: Welcome to the forum from me too Thomas. Like the others have said just take it slowly and play it by ear. But even though Im from the UK if any man bought me gold or expensive gifts in the 1st week of being together I would go running!!
Enjoy your next 2 months together and Im sure somewhere in those months the 'what next' talk will come up. Hello all--Since I last posted on here a lot has changed with my Turkish girlfriend and I. We are planning on staying together despite the distance between us. She has one year left in school and I am already saving my money for a trip to Turkey--and I'm even kicking around the idea of moving to the country for a little while.
My plan would be to find a job or continue my education in Turkey and eventually move back to the United States this is where she would like to eventually end up. I don't know that I'm necessarily looking for advice--but if you all have any, I'm definitely all ears. This is more of an update and proclamation that Turkish women the one that I know are simply amazing. It's great to hear from you again and glad to hear your romance is going well. We have a few male members who are married to Turkish woman who will I'm sure agree with you last comment.
If you did move over to Turkey which city would you be thinking of living in. I don't know what you do for a living so don't know how easy it would be to get a good job. You will of course need to get a Work Permit which doesn't take long to get and is quite an easy thing to do.
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But I have to say that the hard part will be finding an employer who will apply for one for you. Maybe you can find an American Company that trades with Turkey and get an in house transfer. The other thing is if you don't speak Turkish that could be against you. Maybe your girlfriend could search out large International companies who you could contact.
I can't comment on you continuing your education in Turkey as I don't really have the knowledge but there are other members who do, and hope they will advise you. Thanks for the advice. A little bit more about me might help the suggestion process: I have a bachelor's degree in English writing --so I'm definitely thinking of getting a certificate so I can teach English in Turkey. My girlfriend is attending university in Izmir ege , her family is from Samsun. I think Izmir is the city in question, I'm not sure what surrounding cities would be close enough for me to work in and commute to.
I have a good enough job right now as a retail sales manager, but I'm not using my degree in any way--and most importantly, I'm not with my girlfriend. I don't really have any reservations about moving to turkey aside from finding gainful employment. Yes, Ege university is in Izmir, so this is where you'd be wanting to find work to be close to your girlfriend.
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As Abi said, it's difficult to get a work permit, and you wouldn't be allowed to do a job that a Turk could do. Teaching English is your best bet, but even that is fraught with problems as many of the threads on this forum will show. Does your girlfriend's family know of your plans to marry? Has she given you any feedback about that? Good luck in all you plan to achieve!
We have another American Member who goes under the name of Quinn, she has just come over from the States and has starting teaching in Izmir. I'm not sure if she will see your post as she doesn't come on the forum everday since she has started working. I will definitely PM "Quinn" to see if she has advice for me.
I think that is what I will end up trying to do teach english in Izmir.
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Meral--her parents are not yet aware of our situation, I know that I must convert to Islam in order for us to marry no problem for me. She thinks that her parents will be accepting of us, but she wants to wait for a good time to tell them. The only trouble will be with her brother who is very protective of her--but I know most older brothers are this way Turkish or not. Thomas, the protection of Turkish girls by their older brothers in Turkey encompasses a lot more than your understanding of the same thing in Western countries.
While the family may have afforded their daughter a good deal of independence, when it comes to marriage, traditional values may prevail. Looks like she may be hesitating to broach the subject with them. It would be helpful for you to read up on Turkish culture and customs. Like Clinky, I am wondering whether she actually told you that you should convert to Islam, or indicated that's what her family would at least expect of you?
I'm hoping things will turn out well for both of you. Yes, as I stated in my most recent post she has informed me that I must convert to Islam although new interpretations of the text understand it to be okay for a muslim woman to marry a non-muslim man--but I realize that this is not what I'm dealing with, it's about how her family feels about everything. She is hesitant to tell her parents, mostly because it is very quickly for us to be this involved--but I know it is difficult for her to keep it to herself as she really wants to tell them, but doesn't feel like it's the right time.
Regardless of what they say, we are planning on staying together.
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She does not think that she will have to go against them, but it would mean a lot for both of us to have their support. I'm wondering if her parents are religious and that is why she has said you must convert to Islam. I lived in Samsun for 6 years until recently and people from there tend to be very traditional and will expect her to marry a Turk and her brothers will be more than protective. Yes the Qu'ran does state that Islamic women can marry a foreigner if they convert to Islam.
The reason behind that is because the man is head of the household it will ensure that any children from the marriage will be brought up as Muslims. Whilst she wants to marry you and go the US it will be very very hard for her to go against her families wishes.
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If they don't agree to a marriage they may cut her out of the family and may never want to see or hear from her again. You may think that if you do marry against their wishes that after a few years they will come round as they will be missing their daughter, but it is very rare that that happens and it will hurt her deeply as family is very important to Turks. Hopefully if you go to Turkey her parents will be willing to meet you.
Even if they are against you they won't be hostile towards you as that isn't the Turkish way. You will need to take things slowly and let them get to know you. Jacklepet71, no prejudice was intended for sure, however Clinky is right that it is expected that a non Muslim man should convert to Islam to marry a Muslim woman.
This is not just in Turkey but throughout the Muslim world. Muslim men can marry Jewish or Christian women Women of the Book but it is not allowed for Muslim women to marry non Muslim men. This is because Islam is passed through the father. There are always exceptions in life and it is possible that some people marry without the man converting but usually it is expected. I've nothing against anyone converting to another religion to marry, that wasn't my point.
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