It was the same with the local grocery store where I shopped, and many other frequented locales. I had barely entered, when Magnai, the young lady who works the currency exchange desk at the building I live, grabbed me by the arm and pulled me to the dance floor. Before I knew it, I was at a table with Magnai and three of her girlfriends, and two of their boyfriends. The two boyfriends glared at me all evening as if willing me to drop dead. I was unsure if she was trying to prevent me from being taken advantage of, or were her motives more personal? There is a midnight curfew in the UB, and when we departed, Magnai and her three girlfriends all piled in my leased vehicle, wanting to continue the party at my apartment.
I politely managed to get them to their homes. I eventually ended up dating the lady who managed the coffee house — her name is Kubilai. I want to add that it is very difficult to gauge the age of Mongolian ladies until they hit years of age I have found. Mongolian ladies develop physically at a very early age, and unlike other Asians, tend to be on average taller and shapelier. Although very feminine, Mongolian ladies simply have a stronger, sturdier appearance to them.
My point is, it is difficult to tell much of an age difference between a Mongolian lady of 18 and For example, I am 35 years old, and Kubilai, I later found out was only 19 years old. Additionally, as in western culture, it would have been extremely rude to discuss age with Kubilai. They may not want a fatty, or an old short, bald guy, however, their main goal is to find a good provider, family oriented and will take the lead in the relationship.
There have been several other ladies after Kubilai, as it can be intoxicating to receive so much attention from a seemingly endless supply of gorgeous young ladies, however, it is always important to maintain perspective and remember there is nothing they desire more than a white, western husband, especially a white collar professional.
I now keep my nose to the grindstone and remind myself of my primary mission in the UB; maintain my routine breakfast, gym, work, etc. I did not come to UB to be a pub-crawler, or in search of a wife, however, for professional reasons for which I am being well compensated and will augment my blossoming resume. When I depart, I will back on the UB with fond memories, however, also how easily, how very easily it would have been to get sidetracked.
Mongolians generally don't introduce people to their family that they don't intend to marry. I could certainly say a lot more about your assessment of "dating in Mongolia", but I'll bite my tongue, since your take on things is a sad reality among white male expats. Not a sad reality and I am not an expat. It is the reality of the world we live in. I see it for what it is and accept it. There was only one lady for a reason, Mongolia is not a society for wayward foreign women even Russian women struggle here , it is a man's society, and foreign women have very little esteem here.
You're presenting YOUR worldview, and it's one that reinforces misogyny. I know many expat women here, many of whom are married to Mongolian men, myself included. The only time I've ever felt devalued as a woman in Mongolia is in my interactions with misogynist foreign men.
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With all due respect Michele, you seem like an intelligent and purposeful woman. I venture to say that there is some inner-resentment that the world does not click universally in the same manner it views the status of women.
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I do not wish to argue the point, however, please understand that you are bantering with a person who has lived in UB for some time now, Although I have remained focused to my work-related purpose here, I am not blind to what I see each and every day in front of my own two eyes which have not failed me to date. On a more uplifting note, I am hoping that I and the team I am working with, will be able to do something very special for the people of this country, creating a very much needed jump-start in stimulating the lifeblood of their economy.
Unbelievably, most of the push-back we are getting, retarding our progress is coming from environmentalists all from privileged countries unaffected by the day-to-day strife felt by this populous , protesting our efforts. In truth, I feel sorry for these once great people, and to reiterate, hope we can do something to make their life better — I believe we can. Although I have become enamored by the Mongolian culture, history and the beautiful ladies, I have not lost sight of the fact I will be soon returning to my home in the bay area in California.
I know everything will again look different upon arrival, as would a Mongolian bride were I to take one. This is why I have chosen to disconnect myself from the community as much as possible, and keep my nose to the proverbial work-related grindstone. In truth Michele, I will more than likely end up marry someone like you one day. I do not want to marry someone who will agree with me all the time, and willing to give me that boot in the backside when I require that much needed adjustment or simply need to be righted.
Even more so when it comes to the big differences in the attitudes and people between urban and rural locales. So what follows should not be taken as "definitive" of Mongolia. So then, my limited experience here has been somewhat different from hamishbond. I have not seen blatant or extreme examples of sexism here firsthand, nor have I heard any of the handful of foreign women I've met here whether residents or long-term visitors complain about blatant chauvinism from Mongolians. I have seen some subtler signs along the lines of preferential treatment and I see how Mongolian women tend to be under-represented at the higher levels of the business world, but that still seems to me a far cry from "a man's world" or at least not much more than is unfortunately still typical in the US.
While the women in my circle of family and friends here tend to play a larger domestic role than the men as compared to the West, I get the impression it's more of a partnership dynamic than one of dominance-subservience plus I've never seen the men refuse or balk at cooking lunch, changing a diaper, taking care of the kids, etc. And I've certainly never seen or picked up on any abusive behavior with them. Now admittedly I'm not a woman and I also don't socialize much beyond my "circle", so I can't possibly claim that I see everything or that what I see represents the whole. But at minimum I can say there are SOME elements or circles of society in Mongolia where women are not treated as unequal.
So for any foreign women looking to experience Mongolia, I would preach caution, situational awareness, and patience as I would for ANY other country and culture , but I wouldn't warn them away. As for younger Mongolian women and foreign men, I can't speak much one way or another about that seeing as I've never been single here. The one thing I HAVE noticed is that of the handful of times I've been approached by or sensed any flirting from Mongolian women, it's mostly been the occasions where I had to be wearing nicer clothes or business wear. When I'm dressed in regular street clothes as I typically am, not so much.
So if one doesn't want to be bothered by flirtatious women what a bother! Getting late and need to turn in, however wanted to chime in. I believe Nickbert has described an accurate account of Mongolian society. I want to congratulate Nickbert on his marriage to a Mongolian woman. I sincerely believe these remarkable ladies are the most beautiful women on the planet, and make extraordinary wives although having more fire in their soul than most Asians.
Not to get sidetracked, however a couple male colleagues and I were discussing why the Mongolian ladies seem to possess an allure and intoxicating effect on men, surpassing other Asians. It has been clinically researched and proven that when the parents of a child are distantly related, the taller and healthier the child wild be.
This is especially true in Mongolian society due to an influx of various cultures over the centuries. Lastly, Mongolian ladies tend to be more assertive and possess more fiery tempers much more than their Asian counterparts throughout the world. They also exude a public confidence which you do not see in other Asian cultures. In other words, everyone is focused and speaks English. My circle is very constrained, and I am purposely keeping it this way to limit the distraction all around me. I did not judge, as these expats had been here far longer than I, and believed their collective mindset may be for good reason.
What I found common among this group of expats not stereotyping , they all seemed to have attended accredited universities, well educated, however did not seem to prosper financially. Most of which also seemed to have been the recipients of several failed marriages. I believe UB had become a hiding place or checking out location for them. It did not take me long to severe these ties and get back on track as to my purpose here.
Nickbert hit the nail on the head with being nicely dressed to this day I refuse to wear a deel coat. Young Mongolian ladies have very little in the way of creature comfort, however, appearance is very important to them, and spend what little they do have on food and clothes. Prestige is important to these ladies. When they see a western man nicely dressed, it is like moths to a flame. There are no secrets in UB with the locals. You may believe you are flying under the radar, however, if you are a descent looking western man with a future, the marriageable Mongolian ladies will get the scoop on you rather quickly to determine if you are worthy of pursuing.
Because I am fairly young, have a good profession that pays me rather well; and most importantly will be returning to the USA in another months, am precisely what these ladies hope to catch. The sceptics will disagree let them , however, the most beautiful of these ladies dream of marriage to a western man preferably American and raising a family in the USA. She shared this webpage with me, showing her profile, as well as many other of the local ladies I knew who I will allow to remain nameless.
It is sad, however, I fully understand their desire ti attain the absence of struggle. I have always been amazed at the early and capable mothering abilities of Mongolian girls. Young, Mongolian ladies want more than anything, to attract a western man for marriage.disctalandxymis.cf/elegies-and-anniverseries.php
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However, if unable, then through the MOB route. When a Mongolian lady has hit years of age, if she has not landed her western gent, then she will settle for a local man generally of the highest stature possible as her biological clock is ticking. Personally, at times I often wish there was no internet, as I would like to see these once great people untouched by the outside world and continue as they have for generations. As a Mongolian woman reading your comments, it seemed u r too American like your new president. Good luck with that. During a business trip in China a few years ago, some of the Chinese salesmen I talked to who had visited Mongolia previously had pretty much made the same comments about Mongolian women.
One of them talked at great lengths about it and some Mongolian strip club he visited, to the point it made me rather uncomfortable So it might be that Mongolian women do have a wide appeal. Which brings me to president-elect Trump; if he ever plans a presidential visit to Mongolia, my wife and I are going to set up a discount store in UB selling pepper spray and compact stun guns before the visit.
There's a lot of potential money to be made there. Hi hkxcoloncleanse i might be tad too late with my response but here are my 2 cents. I think not taking your girlfriend to meet your family or not introducing her to your friends is a red flag in any culture don't you think? By now you should have at least met a few of his friends. I think he is either not ready to commit or something shady is going on. Listen to your heart, not your brain cause every decision made with your heart is always the right one. I wish you all the best oh and by the way i'm a mongolian woman and i might have sounded too straight forward.
I had a Mongolian boyfriend for 1 year, was very kind and i really love him in each moment of my relationship. Unlucky we broke up for other reasons regardless of our relationship. He present his family and friends after two months, i never present my family just because they are in europe. Ps, wontoncruelty u are a lucky woman. It is plausible that mongolian girls are thirsty for foreigners, but you are definitely biased towards mongolian men.
Thereby your conclusion is absolutely ridiculous and isn't trustworthy. I am sorry to hear your sad story. I admire your strong mentality that you decided to move on. He seems like a loser so don't ever waste time thinking about him. And I am glad that you ate studying Mongolian and I can help with that if you want. Hi OlegNbailey I am Mongolian man. I say go for it. We are not all like that for sure.
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What kind of name is "Larkin" for a "supposed" Russian citizen, commenting in the Mongolia forum? Considering you just joined Expat today, will dismiss your comments as a radical feminist from the USA expounding your "loonyism" through cyberspace. Oh "gena", one last stratagem, I worked in Russia for six months, the Russian people do not use words like "plausible".
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Member since 30 December Member since 01 October Member since 05 June Member since 28 July Member since 02 September Member since 16 August Member since 11 October Member since 13 October If your bf has not introduced you to his friends, it is a problem. Member since 11 May Member since 28 November Cape Town, Western Cape.
Yellow Fever has no cure Member since 14 November Member since 13 January Moderated by Bhavna 2 years ago Reason: Please write only in English on the anglophone forum. Thank you We invite you to read the forum code of conduct. Member since 24 January Member since 25 December She has tried dating events and having friends set her up. She once visited a shaman. Recently, she decided to adjust her initially high standards. Many say the issue is a mismash of attitudes and expectations.
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Manduhai Tsogtbal, 32, an entrepreneur who runs an online translation services company, has been starting businesses since she was a student. While getting an MBA degree in the US, she bought the Thai restaurant where she had worked as a waitress and turned it into a more profitable sushi bar. A survey released in March by the World Bank found Mongolian men in their 20s often described women as more ambitious than men, a trait they found unattractive.
Some wondered why women invested so much in their education, given that it increased their risk of not being able to find a husband. Bulganchimeg Gantulga, 19, a university student studying political science, says men her age always catcall women who wear short skirts. She says these men, even her classmates, are often behind when it comes to gender and LGBT rights.
She is considering never marrying at all. Thousands of men lost their jobs in the privatisation of state-owned companies in the s, as Mongolia transitioned from a communist system, and they still have not recovered. NGOs and the government focus more on women than on men, who face rising rates of alcoholism, as well as unemployment, he says.
No woman wants to live with an under-educated, impolite man. At Caffe Bene, a trendy Korean coffee chain in central Ulaanbaatar, almost all the tables are occupied by young women on their own. One sits with her shopping bags on a chair, typing on her phone. Another reads a comic, while the woman across from her peers at a laptop. Single women in Mongolia face a certain stigma, which makes dating even harder. The Lunar New Year holiday, a time for family reunions, is especially hard: They also face a relatively conservative dating culture. Rather than meet in bars or clubs, single Mongolians often find each other on Facebook or Instagram, chatting over private message, away from the public eye.
Clubs and bars in Ulaanbaatar have begun holding speed-dating events, but people are sometimes embarrassed to attend, says Bat-Ulzii Altantsetseg, head of an events group called UB Nights. Now, instead of singles nights, they hold partner parties where men and women are assigned random pairs of numbers.
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